Heck to Today, but BAM in My Face O_O

Titles and headers are great things. They pretty much summarize the story as a whole, but to know the whole story, you still have to read.

Today = SUPPLIES (shout it really loud and you’ll get it… or say it loud with a fake Chinese accent) day for me. Why? I don’t know. I can’t say why really, but it is. I don’t know why it has to happen today, because I can guarantee it wasn’t like that anytime since 2 months ago.

This morning while getting ready for work, I decided to try a new approach to my day. I was going to say, “Heck to what other people think. Why should I care if others care about themselves more? I’m going to have the day for me and I’m going to plan it all out during lunch, and I’m going to just have a me day. I’ll work for work, but other things… for me.” Yea, don’t do that, especially if you’re me.

The day started well. Had a team meeting, all was smooth and normal. Started working… and then lunch plan was cancelled. Decided to go to lunch with co-workers because we have to get something done for work.

There goes my plan to plan out my day O_O (First BAM! in the gut. Not too bad, still can go on.)

I get a call and I was told that there might be a position opening that I might be interested or able to do it. WHAT?!?! I have a job. But it’s still a good opportunity. Yea, I know. First, was told the person working there up and left without reason all of a sudden. Then they’re desperate to look for someone? (Desperate, really? Will you pay me $100,000 to work for you? I don’t think they’re THAT desperate). In any case, that brings about thoughts into my head. How can I leave my work place that I just started 2 months ago? If the job is a good job and I do want to go, I personally cannot bring myself to leave a company like that.

What about only for me day? Yea yea, that was thought of too and I can’t say that I was able to do that at all…. BAM! Second one was to my face.

God has a sense of humor, he would constantly remind me that there are people around me and I’m always thinking of others. I can’t have a day thinking about myself and all for me. I have to say though, my sister said it best today… um, I don’t remember what she said. I know I was going to quote her, but dam you my memory. Stop forgetting things. I was also going to quote Chelsea, but I forgot. Dam you memory again.

Well, there wasn’t a third BAM!! I calmed down, settled with the obvious choice… just send in my resume and see what happens. If it’s meant to be, why not? If it’s not, then why bother? I’m happy either way.

*Secretly rubbing hands together evilly and whisper o-so-softly* “Come on $100,000.”

Oh, speaking of money, the Florida powerball lottery sure is a lot of money. What is it? 186 Million dollars? I wonder if I should try my hand in it? I probably won’t, unless I hear the numbers very clearly in my head. Good luck to those who are trying and remember, wisdom will take you a long way. If I won that money, 1/2 of it is going to churches and missionaries. The others, well, they’re probably going to get taxed, heheheh. Whatever’s left would go to bills and debts and the rest is for me to live a relaxed life. If I don’t win it, I’ll still have money going to church and missionaries, going to tax, bills, and debts. The rest of my money I’m earning, they’re still going into my life. So, it really is no difference, only a larger sum.

I can guarantee something I would think of doing and BAM! I get punched in my face (not literally just so everyone is clear).

I love my life. It’s surrounded by great families, friends, and most of all… air. Yes, air. I can breathe and live with it ^_^

Humor Me + Anime = I’m Relaxing

This just made my day today, after all that’s going on with college and all the grand, non-stop projects, I have yet to breathe much and when I do (which I did take those breather), they deepen the spear in my leg (Scene from Ace Ventura) and I must say, they are by no means funny.

Today’s character pick of the day, and probably most days for me (just because he’s awesome) is… Tōshirō Hitsugaya.

Here’s a look at how cute he could be ^_^
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He is also my pick in Bleach: Dark Soul on DS.

Matthew out!

Don’t Mess with Mature Ladies

Every once in a while, I like to post jokes. Most of the time, they’re smart jokes. This is one that totally made my day. Hope you enjoy too.

A mature (over 40) lady gets pulled over for speeding…

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.

Officer: Don’t have one?

Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Older Woman: I can’t do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.

Don’t Mess With Mature Ladies

Jokes Between Malaysian and Singaporean

If you don’t have a good sense of humor, you might not find this funny, or if you’re offended easily by crude jokes, you’ll find this offensive. So, don’t read it if you will find this offensive. I’m a Malaysian, and I found it funny. So, if you’re a Malaysian and got offended, remember one thing, it’s a joke. Ok, onward to the joke.

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A Singaporean was on holiday in Malaysia.

He was having his coffee, croissants, bread, butter & jam at the hotel’s coffee house. A Malaysian man who was chewing gum, sat down next to him & started a casual conversation.

Malaysian : “You Singaporeans eat the whole bread?”

Singaporean : “Of course.”

Malaysian : “We don’t. In Malaysia, we only eat what inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it, transform them into croissants & sell them across to Singapore.”

The Malaysian then had a smirk on his face while the Singaporean listened in silence.

Malaysian : “Do you eat the jam with the bread?”

Singaporean : “Of course.”

Malaysian (chuckling): “We don’t. In Malaysia, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds & other left-overs in a container, recycle them, transform them into jam, before we sell it across to Singapore.”

This time, the Singaporean retorted : “Do you have sex in Malaysia?”

Malaysian : “Why, of course we do”

Singaporean : “Do you wear protection”

Malaysian : “Of course! We wear condoms.”

Singaporean : “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”

Malaysian : “Stupid question ! Of course we throw them away.”

Singaporean : “We don’t. In Singapore, the government secretly puts them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum & sell them across to Malaysia, … & that’s the real reason why we banned chewing gum in Singapore.

April Fool Jokes

Out of all the April Fool jokes I’ve seen online, I have to say Google has my vote for being the best of all I’ve seen. WoW is definitely not as good as when Burning Crusades was coming out, they definitely had people going on and one about their wisp character, lol.

Any good story that got to you? I didn’t get fooled this year, which says a lot about the fooling this year, but I fooled a handful of people with Google’s fool ^_^ Happy me.