Eating Me from the Inside Out… is This Jealousy?

I rarely talk about my ex anymore, especially on-line. Originally, it was for carefulness with how I say certain things, but who really cares. Those who read this either doesn’t know too much about it, doesn’t really care about my life, just reading my entries because they came across it, know me from some time ago, or people who already know me. So, why am I so afraid to share my thoughts? I was always told to be careful of what’s on the Internet. What other people could do to me over the Internet. Sure, they could, maybe with words, but that’s about it. For those who already know me in person and still keep in touch with me, they’ll tell me what I’m doing is wrong if they know about it. Why should I not share? This on-line log was originally a journal that is to share with anyone who could find light through their hard times. Perhaps learning from something that I had to learn the hard way. A friend commented saying that I’ve always seem happy and cheery and find a way to make things possible. Why not do it like always right?

Now that my frustration sounding paragraph is over, this has nothing to do with my ex at all. I will be honest, I do wish my relationship with my ex is a little better than it is now, considering she is friends with my sister. We’re both happy in our relationships and why should we bother with each other right? True and point taken. Somewhere within me though, I feel like we just became acquaintances. Nothing wrong with that, not many ex-es keep in communication at all. If I were to see her in a coffee shop sitting there, could I possibly sit down and talk with her, or would it be awkward. That is where I would question my relationship with her, and I would like the answer to to be: “Sit down and talk with her for however long time permits and leave our own ways.” but I think it’s at: “Look to make sure it’s her… it is her. Buy my coffee… takes a sip… walk out of coffee shop and drive away even though I really wanted to sit down and enjoy my coffee.”

What I’m really jealous about is the relationship my sister can keep with her ex. I guess that’s why I’m mad, upset, and frustrated. I think that’s my jealousy on the surface. I am upset at the series that unfolds and the decisions she made. She’s alright with it though. As a brother, what should I do? I’m stumped and that is where I try to be as supportive but not overprotective as I can be. It is very difficult, as I question myself every time I think about it. “What is shy thinking? Why is she doing this? What nonsense is this guy doing?” Maybe she’s over it faster than expected… maybe she’s made her amends. Maybe I’m the one who is still lingering. Maybe I am just jealous because my relationship with my ex did not turn out the way I would like it to be and my sister’s did? Regardless of what the reason, I should find the reason to not feel this way.

I’m happy she trusts him, I’m not happy she made those decisions. I’m happy she’s happy, that’s really all that matter in the end. For her, I should be supportive and when she needs a support to lean on, I’ll take it. I’ll support her. I’ll do it until she doesn’t need my support.

I’ll do the same with Chelsea, and I’ll do the same with any friends who needs it and ask for it.

Dealing with this frustration wasn’t easy. Can’t say it is, but having faith in my sister is good enough of an answer for me. I always hear people say, “I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt.” I guess on the shallow side, that’s what I’m doing. It really is just trusting someone until that trust is broken. For a sister, why shouldn’t I trust her no matter what happens?

Well, time to settle things for myself. Maybe a few punches to the face will do.

*BAM! POW! PUNCH!* Take that jealousy. Now how does it feel to be all beaten up.

Well, guess nothing a good meal wouldn’t cure.

That’s it, nothing more, go read someone elses’ entries.

Parenting: A One Sided Fight

Parenting is not easy. It is not  easy for the child(ren) and it is not easy for the parent(s). No matter how I look at it, parenting is a one sided fight. It is neither won by the child(ren) or the parent(s), but won by what I am calling the “unknown factor.” Trying to keep this short will be difficult, but time is not on my side and I will have to go to sleep at some point.

I want to put it out there that I am in no way, shape, or form a doctor or trained person for this subject. I am just a person who has seen lots of children parent bickering. I am just someone who observes and try to help those that needs someone to talk with. I am just a human being who believes there is a way to better communications between children and parents, but it takes both parties to get this working. If one tries hard and the other doesn’t try at all, I am positive it is never going to solve an issue.

Child(ren)

I was once in your position. Well, not entirely true, but I understand your position. I was once a tough child for my mom. When I first lived with my mom after many years of not being together, I once resented my mom. I did not hate her, for she was my mom, but I dislike the things she did, the rules she set and most of all the nagging and telling me to do things. After growing up some, I came to find that I was not the only one in this situation, and as I found others who felt the same way about their parents, I understood the phrase my mom once said to me, “I am not as strict as you think I am.” I quickly realized I had a great mom and she was actually the least strict out of all the people that I knew. Time passed as I continued to befriend the people who had strict parent(s). I tried to understand where they were coming from, to hear their complaints and to hear their hearts plea for fairness.

If you are reading this and you are young, feel unfair that your parent(s) are strict and harsh on you, know that my heart goes out to you. I have flaws, and I will say that my words may not be all true, but I will give my advice to all you young ones out there. There is more to read after the parents section, and you might want to read a little on that too, if you’re not wanting to read the parents sections.

The “unknown force” is a tough opponent. It is like the bully at school, the friend who pricks your heart little at a time, the boss who you fight against in any game, the Bowser to your Mario, the nightmare to your dreams… and you get the point. It’s not your parent(s) fault that they treat you the way they do. I can say with all confidence that they do not know every answer. First time parents are perhaps the hardest to explain, but strict parent(s) are just… well, strict. To be honest, some parent(s) have tunnel vision, what they see and believe is what they know is best and right for their child(ren) and therefore they’re going to stick to it no matter what, because they believe it is. Whoever on Earth that came up with with that philosophy just got a million bucks if he/she got to sell that idea.

Children of my generation (or younger), do not let your dark hopes bring you down. Believe in yourself, for I believe in you. I know that even my mom believes in you. Here is what I will share with you, and it might not be the best solution for your case, but ultimately, one rule stays the same: BE SMART ABOUT IT.

Generation of computer users, do your research, have proof, back yourself up with facts. Not only from the internet, but from sources on the internet that can be considered legal and taken serious by even your parents. Facts are important, but you don’t want to do it without knowing what you’re looking for. Be the last (or your best choice, never) to be angry. Take the higher road. This is the toughest thing to do. This will not only show character but also put a slap in your parent(s) face without you doing anything. It’s the hardest thing to do, NOTHING. Parents, if you are reading this, I am defending your kid here because he/she needs some help standing up to you, but you have to understand that your child(ren) are human beings too, just like you. How do you like to get yelled at by someone for some the same reasons you yelled/spanked/banned/punished/grounded your child(ren) for. Kids, I’m not saying be mean to your mom or dad, I’m just saying control yourself, and when they start yelling, maybe the softest voice would be the one that wins. It’s hard, but do your best, I encourage you to do it, not once, not twice, but for as long as it takes your parent(s) to realize how childish they are and how much more mature you’re proving yourself to be. Of course don’t just make that an excuse to fight them, only do it if you believe you are being yelled at for some petty reasons, or some reasons that you should not be yelled at.

Stay smart, stay calm, stay polite and say sorry. I know you say sorry a lot, but it’s always never enough, so say it and mean it. After saying it, then proof you mean it, either by doing what you should do, or showing that you can continue to do what you should do. I know chores are not fair, or even standing up to do something such as picking up the remote control, but the higher road can be say of you… you are building character. Or better yet, think of it as a girl or guy that you like asking you for a favor. I do not think that is a better way to go, but if it helps you laugh a little while doing something, it’s better than naught.

Parent(s)

Give your child a break every once in a while. Seriously, do you really know all the answer to life? Have you counted the times you asked your child(ren) to do things for you and the times you say “Thank you” to them? When was the last time you actually hug them, mean it, and then yelled at them the same day for doing something stupid? When was the last time you actually let your child(ren) explain a reason why and you actually put it to heart and accept it even if it’s “I forgot.”

If you could have a chat with my mom (or my sis), you will find out that I forget a lot of things. I forget things that doesn’t seem important to me. I’m a child, I am young, there fore many things are not that important. I will do them when they are, not when they are to you. I don’t understand parent(s) who ask their kids to do every little things. I understand parent(s) do the big things in the house, pay bills, work for money, put food on the table, but so did my mom, and the last time I remember, my mom did not yelled at or punished me because I forgot to take out the trash, she just reminded me. Washing plates was what I had to do for chores, and I did them quite a lot, but there are days where I either just got busy and forgot (yes, I really do forget) or I just didn’t feel like it and would wash it the next day. My mom would either leave it for me to wash the next day (and mind you, I had to wash with hand, not washing machine like most American homes have) or she would just wash it, because she wants her sink to be clean. My mom would remind me I forgot to clean it and told me she’s cleaned it.

I don’t believe parent(s) are lazy, because my mom isn’t. But if there are parent(s) out there who are so lazy that their kids are their maid, then it is a sad world. Unless of course it’s a both sided job where parents do things for their kids as well, little simple things. Then there is no one to blame, but of course me I suppose, if there is someone that needs to be blamed. Give your kids a break some times. Let them say “I forgot” every once in a while.

One thing I know about parent(s) though, and this does include my mom, is that parent(s) will most of the time be stubborn. Here’s what I mean by that: They are set to how they will raise their kids and how their kids should be. They are as stiff as an oak tree, while the kids are as of the bamboo tree. When the wind blows in whatever direction, the oak tree stays there unmoved but the bamboo tree will bend to the winds. Neither one is right or wrong, this is just an allegory. Parents, you have to understand your kids. What’s the point of being a parent and living in your own utopia? You are to teach your kids how to adapt and live life to the fullest with your knowledge and wisdom. You are suppose to help them conquer the fear of the world, not to shelter them from it.

Talk with your child, discuss with them, listen to them. These are important for a child. If you disagree with them, that’s fine, at least you did all these. But here’s the catch… disagree with love. My mom would listen to my plea and discuss with me why she said no. Yes, she did that and that made me a much better person to explain why I said things.

Overall

Communication is key. Yes young ones, the parents can be stubborn and won’t listen to a word you say. Well, if they’re sitting there, say it anyway. Parents, if you think your child is saying something stupid, let them say it anyway. If you truly think it’s idiotic, record it and play the recording back to them, or say the words that they say back to them. If they hear it from the outside, then maybe they know it is, but give them a chance to explain themselves.

Love. I have seen bickering and yelling, but I have also seen love and experienced it. Forgiveness isn’t forgiveness until love covers it. If you forgive someone, bring it up again, then it wasn’t forgiven in the first place. Where’s the love in that. Parents are suppose to love their flesh and blood. If I’m wrong, then I’ve been writing to the wrong crowd. You should not have read all of this, because you were never open minded in the first place, whether you’re the child or the parent. If you’re not open to new ideas to help yourself, because you’re right in what you do, then continue doing what you do. I am not one to stop you, but if your child or parent hates you because of it, here’s my forewarning: “I TOLD YOU SO!”

I once hated my mom and dad for various reasons. Now, I just wish I understood them more and knew where they were coming from. So, I’m sharing my little knowledge and wisdom in hopes that you will learn each other better. Horrible days should never be used outwardly toward your family. Sucky days should not be unleashed on your loved ones. Share with them your sucky days, ask for help or a shoulder to lean on during horrible days. Blaming something  is worse than saying “I forgot.” I truly believe that, because we ourselves are to blame for our actions.

A wise man once said, “No one makes you angry, you made yourself angry.” If you did not get that wisdom, here’s what it meant. Stop blaming others for your actions. You choose how to react. If someone throws a pie at your face, you have some options: 1) Laugh about it. 2) Be mad and yell or beat the other person up. 3) Do nothing about it. 4) Walk away from the situation. 5) Ask the other person why. 6) Start a food fight. Of course there’s more options, but if you are truly honest with yourself, the things you do are all from your own choices. They determine the outcome. The quote is one that parents hate to hear when they’re a little upset because a child did something wrong or stupid. I always bring that up with my mom and she hates those words, but when you think about it, down into the core, it’s true. Your reaction to situation proofs of your character, virtue, integrity, and output on life in general. So don’t be a sourpuss and ruin people’s day because you had a bad day. Work your way to making your bad day better.

No one makes you angry, you made yourself angry.

Kids vs Parents

Today’s post has two parts. One for the kids and one for the parents. I am not obligated to say this, but I should, in case some people are having the wrong idea of who I really am (or who I sound like). I am no psychiatrist or psychologist. I am not a doctor and I do not say I know the final answers. I will tell you my truth and my experience and mostly from common sense (or what I believe is common sense). That’s all I can do; some of you might take it as advice, some of you might not and say it’s all stupid, but that’s fine with me. I’m sure someone could use a point-of-view from someone else.

Before I get into the individual parts, I’d like to put a little background to myself and my parents. Pretty much a history summary. My mom and I weren’t always the best of family. Ever since I was young, I rarely see my mom and dad. I was raised by my grandma and aunt. It’s not as bad as it seems, because I had aunts and cousins around that it was always family to me. I lived in Hong Kong for some early part of my life but ever since 6, Malaysia was my life. My dad is a Hong Kong citizen and I only saw him once a year for about 1 – 2 months (I think) since 6 and as I got older, the visit becoming longer from once a year to once every two or three years. Now that I’m older, I can travel and visit him and my sister and I went to see him about 1 1/2 years ago. Not much to talk about my dad and I, we’re still talking, but as far as in person relationship, it’s really all about my mom and I.

My mom is an amazing lady, standing 4′ 9″ (I think? Maybe 10″), she is probably one of the strongest person out there. Not physically, but not all mentally either, I think it’s both combine. Her story will be told another day, but now, it’s not about that. Before moving to America, I had very little interaction with my mom. Close to rare, she would wake up before me and go to work and she would come back either in time for dinner or late and I would be asleep. I still loved her, but not much interaction. After some time (story not included because it’s a different story to be told), we moved to America (my mom, sister, and me) and we depended on each other. My mom tried to do right by spending more time with us when she can and also try to get us stuff to please us, because she knew she didn’t spend much time with us before. Of course as a kid/brat, I couldn’t ignore the past, and had to make it hard on her. In a way now, I really regretted and wish I could change some of my past attitude and unforgiveness. It was probably the toughest part of my life.

*NOTE: I understand not all kids have two parents, some may have one or none. I am not putting you guys aside. The nouns I use will be plural because it’s just going to be easier. Also, parents noted anywhere on this post could mean a guardian, father/mother figure, older sibling, or a person you confide in (this does not include your best friend, I’m talking about someone older who can give advice with life through knowledge, experience, and wisdom.*

Part 1: The Kids

Sure we want our own space, and sure we wish our parents would understand us or leave us alone or even not question us so much all the time (to us, it does seem all the time, but it’s not to them), but what if the time comes when we need them? I don’t think it’s fair to say that it should be on our terms. For those who wish they have parents that talk to them and never had a chance, I encourage to find a parent figure that could help you. An older sibling perhaps or a friend who’s a little older and wiser. That would be my encouragement. Never give up on searching for a close person that could care for you.

“It’s difficult talking to them.” Sure it is, especially when you have strict parents. Some times, too strict that it feels like you don’t have power over it. This is some what of how I felt my mom was. I soon find out that she’s actually very open-minded. I’m glad I had a mother like that. Regardless, my mom was still strict. Sitting down and talking with a strict parent is not easy, but it needs to be done, and we have to take the first step. We also have to understand that when our parents yell or raise their voice at us, we have to be calm and talk even more gently. This will in return show that you are capable of being responsible and mature in difficult times. Definitely makes you look better too (just as a tip). Difficulty in not raising your voice is difficult when you usually do, but it’s doable. How bad do you want it?

“My parents could care less.” This is the opposite of those with parents who ask too much or are up in their kids’ business. If you’re looking for a relationship with your parents, I would say start it before it’s too late. If you don’t care, then that’s your choice. Life’s filled with choices and if that’s the choice you want to take, who am I to stop you. But sitting down and talking with your parent could make more sense than not doing it. Your parents want to talk, some times too busy to make time, but realize there is a part of them that do. If not, once again, I would say perhaps confide in someone who’s able to play that part better for you if your parents really don’t care.

Lastly, if you want to be treated like an adult, with respect and all, I think it’s a good idea that you take yourself seriously like an adult too. One way that I’ve already said is to not raise your voice even when your parents do. I would say another is listen to what your mom ask you to do and then tell (not yell or have a attitude tone) them you’ll do them (this is of course chores, but if a friend of yours asked you to help them with something, you would more than likely help right, treat it that way).

Part 2: The Parents

Your kids are either too busy and don’t want to talk with you or they’re sharing everything with you. Either way, I believe it’s a parent’s job to care for their kids and be there for them. I am not a parent and I can’t truly say I know how it feels, but from my interactions with my mom, I will say that I understand my mom’s point-of-view.

Regardless of who your kids are, they are first and foremost your priority in life on Earth. You brought them into life (or for those who adopted, you chose to adopt them). You should never be too busy to spend some time with your child or to hear them out a little. This is for parents who are busy with work. Moms who work, I understand the money you need to bring your kids up and have things for them (that’s how my mom was and she was a single parent), but I don’t think that’s your top priority, and that’s all I have to say for that.

I find that it is much simpler to yell at your kids than to really talk to them like you would talk to another adult. Since you have been yelling at them since they were young, but trust me, your kid wants to be treat maturely (though there are parts of them that wants to be a kid, just know how to be smart about it). So, maybe come to a conclusion where both of you can agree. Your kids want to talk with you, whether they show it or not, maybe just a little space or time, or maybe not yelling too much when it comes to discussing things with your kids. If you’re already talking with them a lot, then I’d say good for you ^_^

Parent who are strict in their ways and won’t budge. All I can say is perhaps look back at your childhood and your parents. I can’t say it’s true for everyone, but it’s not fair that you would either 1) Let your kids have the same childhood you had and didn’t like, or 2) Not let your kids have the same freedom or choices you made as a kid. Parents were once kids too, and when you were young, your parents were either really strict on you or really loose with you. I don’t think either extreme is well, the middle is the best answer in this case. Trust your kids a little, when was the last time you actually let them ‘eat dirt’? (not literally, metaphorically speaking and I promise you this is not a Malaysia or Chinese saying. I just wrote and it came out, probably because of the late night writing) What I meant by eating dirt is the fact that your kids have to experience certain things that hurt them before they realize it’s not meant to be done, but some things that are alright to do, don’t keep them from doing it, where’s life then? How is it living to the most?

Part 3: The Both of You (Didn’t see this coming did you?)

I don’t care if you’re open-minded or not. When it comes to life, co-existence, and community, there is nothing more than making the best of it. Why does either parents or kids be always right. Both can be right, just not always. Learn to give and take some? There shouldn’t be compromise. There doesn’t need to be. There is such a thing as both people gaining something.

I understood my mom and I will say that I started to understand where she’s coming from before she did saw it my way. From there, I was able to talk with her showing her how I felt and thought. We had our discussions and when it started to get heated up, I would just sit there and take a few breath (not sighs by the way) and then calmly get back into the subject again. This took me many tries, but I tried and succeeded regardless. My mom was open to see it my way eventually, but it took a lot of diligence from my part.

One last example and I’m off to bed. Going off to college away from Tampa was what I wanted to do when I was still a junior in high school. It took me most of my junior year and all my senior year to get my mom to let be come all the way to Orlando for college. I did my research, showed her why it would do me good, and also being a kid, most kids would like to go off to college somewhere away from home if they could. I will say, if I didn’t do my research, showed the pros of goin to UCF rather than USF (for me specifically), my mom would rather me stay in Tampa and just find a local university there and go there instead. I don’t think my choice was wrong, but there is something about my choice that made it much more difficult for me as my mom’s son to come in terms to his life.

All this to say that there can come an agreement, and parents should take care of their kids cause it is their responsibility (regardless of whatever excuse in life might bring) and kids can respect their parents and still have their parents see it their way, just takes forever and a lot of effort most of the time.

I Write: Me, Violence, Video Games, and Media

If you aren’t aware already, this is going to be perhaps the longest post I will ever write, and if that statement is false, then I will say this is the longest post I have written. Gaming is a subject that I enjoy talking about and as a gamer, I tend to take the point-of-view of a gamer. In this long entry, I will do my best to be fair to both sides. I believe I am capable of doing that and I will be straight forward about it. I will also be blatant about myself specifically because I am passionate about gaming and I will put myself out there to be tested, that’s for sure ^_^ So, be aware that this is a long and tedious writing and I won’t say this is perhaps all well thought out and written well, but I will put my heart into it and defend my fellow gamers. Also, I would like to state that I am not going with facts or statistics. I think we pick our statistics to coincide with our point-of-view. I will write this base solely on experience, discussions with other people, readings, and anything else I’ve learned.

Violent video games make gamers violent. This is not a proven fact (at least not in my book). Many gamers would know who Jack Thompson is, he’s an attorney (I believe) who says many active shooters in schools or anywhere else are influenced by violent video games and also the fact that violent games make someone violent. I will show videos from youtube, and to be blatant about this, it’s a point-at-something excuse for something that’s gone terribly wrong.

I grew up a gamer, I have played games all my life, starting with the original Game Boy and Atari to the now advanced Wii, Xbox 360, PS3, and DS Lite. I even remember when games were on computer and were text base, yes I played those games as well. Till this day, I find Tetris to be the most innovative addictive game for me, so don’t you dare say I don’t appreciate arcade games.

Living in America, I have come across many gamers such as myself, and a lot of us tend to defend one another, but what happens when a gamer’s gone loony. By the way, I will use sarcasm, silly words, and just words that people don’t usually write in a paper. I will say, this is an entry of an essay proportion. Maybe one day I’ll write a book about this and be famous for it? Or maybe I’ll just stay a blogger (and gamer) and only known for writing these kinds of entries. Back to the subject, more specifically speaking, what happens when an active shooter is said to be that way because of violent video games? Thus, back to my starting point, violent games makes gamers violent.

Remember I said I grew up playing games all my life. I’m a 80’s kid, mid-80’s to be precise and I have seen many violent games; in fact, I have played many violent games. I played Double-Dragon, Street Fighter, Mortal Combat, King of Fighters, Soul Calibur. My first violent game was Mario to be honest. Jumping on mushrooms (thus squishing them to death) and flying tortoises, getting a big spiky tortoise into the hot lava to get to the princess, I believe those are violent right? I mean, what happens when I throw someone down an active volcano? Doh, we all know what happens. It’s common sense. So, here’s where I’d like to lead into… common sense.

I believe playing games is the main reason I have great common sense. I learn how to navigate through different scenarios, I learn how to use controllers that aren’t simple. You need to know how to slide and when to press buttons to make Goku or Gohan shoot a Kame-hame-ha. You need to know when to block or parry in Soul Calibur to survive a beating (I fail to parry 99% of the time, you can tell I’m not good with this game). You’ve got to know the secrets to every character in Street Fighter so when you play them, you’re ready to counter any attacks they might come at you. I learned logic, I learned common sense, and I learned how to have fun. Here’s what games didn’t teach me or make me… a violent person or an active shooter. I play FPS (First Person Shooter for those not in the lingo) too such as Quake 2 (My first FPS game), Call of Duty 4, Team Fortress, Counter-Strike (Seem to be a very controversial game).

I’ll put myself out there. This is of course for those of you who knows me personally or have met me. I will put myself to the test and you can try to ask everyone that knows me and I will guarantee those that remember me will say it’s true. “I am perhaps one of the nicest, most caring, kind person there is. I smile a lot and laugh a lot and I like to have fun. I respect elders and I love food (the food thing, it really doesn’t have anything to do with niceness, but it’s always fun to have something extra that’s different right).” But before I go further, I will say this, I had a time in my life that I was angry, and even then, I was not outwardly angry at specific persons. It was when I was 15 or 16 years old, when I first came to America. I was still nice, but I had bursts of anger problem. Now, I will say, I had a rough time during that time of life (a personal family matter), I had the whole age thing coming to me, and it is the time when I did not have any computer games or video games. I have left every game in Malaysia and I came to a place with nothing to play. If anything, this proves that violent video games have the opposite effect on me. Video games get me to get my frustration out in a deeper level than just yell and scream and throw punches or kicks.

It might be just me, or maybe my family had some things to do with it. I mean, it could be my culture, my grandma, mom, and aunt taught me well. I knew the fake world from the real world (not the tv show on MTV mind you) and I know that hurting people is bad. So, let’s go to a video, I need a break at this moment.

Sweet, so you have seen the video right? Cause I will start talking about this video now. So, here goes…

Counter Strike… I played it back in 2004, maybe 2005. I stopped about two years ago. Here’s what I learned about Counter Strike. There are two sides. Let’s make it good and bad, so it’s easier to show. Each levels have a purpose, the good have 2 objectives, defend the bombing area or disarm the bomb when it’s been armed, and the other objective is to save as many people from a room as possible. The bad side is to arm a bomb and have it explode or not to let the good guys save people from a room. Just to summarize it. Also, I’d like to ask soldiers in particular, if you’re a soldier and you so happen to be reading this, can you tell me if Jack Thompson is telling the truth? Can you do something this well, “killing people with efficiently cool and calmly after being immerse with such a game”? I don’t think you can, not from playing games to train you. If that’s true, please do tell me, cause I’m curious, and if this is a private matter within the military and no one should know this information, then Jack Thompson shouldn’t have these information too right? I will agree with some things that Jack Thompson said… “Shooting is bad.” … wait, did he say that? I don’t know, but I think maybe if you see this interview with the suite mate, you might know Chris has the facts or Jack has them. Jack Thompson doesn’t know when Chris Matthews ask if he knows. Plus, why is Jack always saying “We…” I only see him talking, don’t be persuasive.

By the way, if every kid is immerse in such games, why doesn’t everyone end up being a shooter? That would be logical according to his logic. Common sense tells me Jack Thompson talks about his own facts and what he knows and how to persuade with what he knows, but cannot come up with original logic to persuade anyone. I’d love to see him and Ian Bogost (go google him if you’re curious) in a debate.

I’ll let you soak it in and then get back to writing. ^_^

15 minutes later… *Ah, a good drink takes the thirst of writing away.*

Could it be possible that there are selective few that when this happens, it’s just a case that the person went crazy? I cannot say that everyone just gone crazy, maybe some people had reasons like the Columbine situation (maybe not?), but whatever it is, if one guy in the college campus out of 80% of the guys turn out to be a serial killer, I guess it’s a small percentage then. I’m sure there can be a lot discussed about violent video games, but I’ll let you take your own point-of-view.

Now, I’d like to get to another video. Here’s the last one, I promise and I’ll talk a little about this and probably get done. It’s late and I don’t even know what I’m talking about… I feel I might have slip up some sentences, but I’ll continue with faith ^_^

Alright, you ready to talk about this? Let’s first start with the sales to “mature” only audience and Microsoft’s quote.

Sure some places sell games for profit only and not thinking about the audience, but when was the last time a parent ask their kids what they bought and was actually interested in their games? I know my mom wasn’t, but she was aware of the violent games I played. She knew I played Mortal Combat (at least I thought she knew) when I was 12 and performed fatality, brutality, and beastiality(?) perfectly without a blink of an eye (I don’t think she knew the fatality and brutality without a blink of an eye). I was the master of brutality on Sega Genesis Mortal combat. I loved the challenge of combos and … okay, I better not get carried away here.

Let’s get back… Microsoft is right, there is a rating system on the Xbox360 for games and videos. Even PS2 had it. Here’s the problem, parents could care less about setting it because they… (are you ready for it??)… because they don’t know how to do it. Oh snap, parents, when was the last time you read a manual guide? The way to do it is straight in the manual that came with the console. Oh, and did you know you set your own password so if your kids want to play or watch those games or movies, they’d need your permission first. Hah, I thought parents cared… what happened this generation’s parents? Well, I tell you what happened, nothing (I hope nothing changed of significant). I think it’s easier to blame it on something as an excuse than to make the extra effort to have a better child or family. Yes, this is coming from a 23 year old college student, but be aware, my family was the biggest part of my life, so I understand what a family is and I understand how to be involved in one. I have a younger sister that I communicate with often, and we’re 100+ miles apart, not just in the other room or upstairs/downstairs, actually 100+ miles apart, and we’re really close.

Next, statistics does not show that all the dad’s kids play video games. No sir’ree. I know I said I won’t get into statistics, but researching a bit to show your knowledge of statistics correctly might be better (I think the kids now a days know more than adults because we actually research it). It shows that average gamer’s age is 30’s. Yup, in the 30’s, I’m sure they know how to think by then, because they should be out from college or high school and working by then (maybe some having their own kids).

Sure, violence and sexuality do have desensitizing effects; so does being hurt, like for boxers. I was always taught that I should know both sides of the story before doing a persuasive argument or debate or essay. I don’t think this is the case. If I were to debate against games, I would say this… they waste a lot of a child’s time than doing something constructive. Yup, that would be my stand in against games. Media just loves to blow things up in proportion, it’s like politics, you can’t always listen to what they say, you have to listen to what they should say but cover up with what they say, specifically the bashing of another side’s speeches or scenarios. White lies are dangerous.

I’d like to talk about the video of the time 4:30 onward to the end and this will be my last thought. Gah, I can’t wait to sleep, lol. Did I mention I love to sleep?

“… We live in the day of age where our children aren’t always supervise…” – WHAT?!? WHAT?!? I think it’s the day of age where parents let their children be baby sit by the video games. ‘My kid’s out of my way so I can do my own stuff.’ Isn’t that a little selfish? I always thought being a parent means showing them care and love and taking care of them no matter what? What happen to being the best parent there is? Is that ideology gone? Am I the only one who wants to cheer my kids on, get him or her to the soccer field and cheer them when they get to steal the ball from the opposing player? Teach them skills? Read them stories or have family talk time? I don’t care how busy a parent is in his or her career, children should always come first. That’s my in take on this. When was the last time you ask your kid a question such as “How was homework?” or “Who was that on the phone?” or “When is your friend coming over?” or “What game did you buy? Can I play with you?” or “Let’s go shopping for a new game for you.” or “Let’s go watch a movie together.” or “How was school?” or “Have you kiss that girl/boy yet?” or “Come here, I miss you *HUG*.” or “Here’s a PB&J, come and get it. (Then give them a noogie).” or “

Seriously, has any parent really talk about those stuff to their kids? Sure they’re embarrassing, but what happened to the “I won’t be a parent like my parents” phrase gone to? I think the cool-parent quote is out of the bag and it’s now career-parent to get money so the family can have things, not LOVE O_O *cry*. Pshhh, I would rather have time with my kids than all the money in the world. I can say this because I wish I have time with my mom than all the things I own. Seriously, I would and that is straight from my heart. Take that you moms and dads out there; you wish you had a son like me now didn’t you? hahah, well, too bad, I’m my mom’s son and that’s final.

“… What happened to Atari and pinball and Pacman?” – They’re still around. When was the last time you open a Windows PC and downloaded Pinball? If you still have the original XP, you should have Pinball in there, yea, try to beat my high score, I believe it was about 23,000,000. Yes, million. I’m not too sure though, I don’t have proof, but when I hit that high again, I’ll save it ^_^ Oh, and I’d like to add, Tetris is still available in so many places, in fact, you can play them online or download them onto the computer for free, and did you know you could play Tetris 2 Player on the same computer? Good game plus good time to spend kicking your kid’s butt in a game… or are you going to let your kid kick your butt? … OR are you just going to let your kid play alone instead of interacting with them? I’m giving you parents so many choices to interact with your kids, you taking notes or not?

“… There’s all kind of bad stuff coming through internet and through video games…” – All the violent movie that’s out now-a-days can be rented from blockbuster by a 17 year old and not get carded. Oh, did I ever tell you the story of me going to the movies with 2 of my friends. We went to see Matrix, the second one, and I was 18 while the other two were 16. Surely they didn’t pass the age of watching an M movie. Just because they’re taller, I got carded. Did I mention I was Asian too? I could definitely say something about being a racist, but yea, that’s a true story. Anyway, a kid can turn on a TBS or TNT or USA channel and have movies in their face off the wazoo and they don’t even need to pay money for violence. With satelite, wow, even HBO is available for kids. I never thought of that, but let me blame it on video games anyway. Movies are alright, they have rating too, so when a “TV-14″ or a “MA” comes up on tv and your child is watching, do you just sit there or do you let them watch it? What if you’re not home? Did you set the setting so it’s not watchable? If you could do that, then do that to the console too. Did you know that there are more cuss words going around in your kid’s school and on tv that they watch than you realize, even if it’s TV-14 or PG-13. Are you aware of that and doing something about that? I’m pointing to parents because when I become a parent and have become a lazy parent, I’d definitely like someone to point out my flaw or what I could do to better things. Yes, I’d honestly would, reminding me what being an awesome parent means (yet knowing the boundaries of when to be strict).

“… That makes me a parent, a much harder job… And also you can access thing on the internet and download them so you’re thinking if I don’t buy it, it’s okay…” – Yes, being a parent has always been a hard job, from the very start of your “watermelon pushing out from a hole the size of an orange” ’till the day you die, mom will always be mom and dad will always be dads. Let’s talk about video games on the internet and being able to download them. Games like these, violent or sexual, need credit card to buy and download and play. At least to my knowledge. If you don’t know what’s on the computer, you better go to school to get technology savvy. So, your kid needs credit card, are they using your credit card? How come you don’t even know what’s been used on YOUR credit card. If you’re talking about porn online, then that’s a separate matter in itself, becasue we’re only talking about video games =D

Sorry, we’re out of time, this brought to you by Matthew, the chitty-chatty blogger that talks a lot about video games and don’t know anything about it. Thank you for tuning in, I don’t expect you to read it all, but if you did, kudos to you.

Next, I’d like to talk about… How I and my mom came to an understanding (since I’ve been talking about parenthood). I like putting up a subject line before the next one comes up because that would make me think about that subject and then put it to heart.

Why The Dislike?

I enjoy negativity. Not toward me nor toward anyone. I meant I think about negative thoughts a lot. I’m not sure if it’s normal like everyone, but thoughts like: What if I had another year to live (Cheeky could relate, cause I just talked with her about it last night); When I die, how many people would actually go to my funeral and how many people actually would think of the great things about me or the bad things about me (or the weird and funny things about me); If it was me who had cancer instead of my mom, how would my sister’s life be, how would Cheeky’s life be and how would my housemates’ lives be; and some other weird ones like that. Yea, it seem mostly are about deaths.

Well, in a way, I don’t think of it as a suicide attempt, it’s just my curiosity in life and about life surrounding me. My blog is about me writing about me and the world that I’m in after all. So, here’s the catch, I’m a Christian. Well, that’s not the catch. Actually, there’s no catch at all. I’m a Christian and I talk about Christians a lot. I will tell you that I talk about people a lot, but I will definitely not fake whether I like someone or not to their face. If I’m upset at them, you can tell I’m upset and not fake it, or if I don’t like a person, I will show I don’t like the person. I have yet to really dislike a person for everything they are… except one back in high school, and people knew about it. So, what I really dislike is what the person’s done or how they are in certain situation or etc. about anything like that.

Today, I saw something that made me wonder… yet again. Is Christian just a name that no one can live up to expectations, or are we just human who’s trying to live our lives as what we believe is the truth? I saw something that I didn’t expect, a Christian (A) was nice to this other Christian person (B) when we were talking about something and when that person (B) looked at me and talk, (A) just gave me this one look like I don’t like (B), and shook his/her head in a way like disagreeing to (B). Um… well, sad, but true.

So, is this behavior Christian like? I mean, Christians are human too, and there’s no way we could ‘like’ every single person. Even I had one person I dislike entirely. But here’s what I think could help the situation. If we would be truthful in front of the person we dislike, or choose to tolerate that person and not have a two-face about it. If I’m going to have a dislike something, I’ll say it. I’d rather live in my truth than to lie and say I’m a Christian. So here goes…

1. I dislike the fact that people think they should just take advantage of my niceness.
2. I am jealous at my sister for having a nicer car, but more importantly, a car with better gas millage.
3. I dislike the fact that most Christians try so hard to be so much holier than thou. I mean, seriously, I think we should accept people as they are. Maybe I’m not Christian enough? I guess I’ll just have to live with that fact if it’s true.
4. I dislike cherry flavor sodas. Cherry Pepsi, Cherry Cola, Cherry Cherry (I don’t really know how that taste like or if it even exist actually).

I think I’m done. I mean, there’s a lot for sure, but I’ll just leave it at those, because those are easily remember and just off the top of my head. I’m just kinda tired. I want to go play my Pokemon and “catch ‘em all!“

~Matsuke out