I was always told I was the happy kid. I love smiling and laughing. I enjoy making people laugh. I love the random things that I do and people giving me a quizzical look. I even enjoy a quiet time of laziness where I just lay on my bed and look up on the ceiling as my fan goes round and round.
I’ve always had an outward of positive. That is until the negative starts to overwhelm me. This blog is more than just an everything blog, it’s an outlet for me. It is a way for me to put down my thoughts using the time I have. Using words to describe my thoughts (this doesn’t say much, since when I use my words in person, they tend to come out in a way that people take them the wrong way). I don’t know how some people do it, but they’ve managed. For me, I’m starting. This responsible life that I call adulthood… this road that will lead me through this season of my life filled with roses and thorns.
I believe that a solid foundation is a good start. I was always striving for a good foundation. I also believe in helping people out. There is no such a thing as too generous. What happens when generosity and foundation clash and having one breaks another? That is when life becomes difficult for the one who chooses to do both. Thus, the story of me.
This is going to be a little personal, but hey, I’m the one who chose to share right. I’m sure most have been in a difficult financial situation. I think I’m at that point where I’m not yet there, but it’s creeping up on me and I see it approaching. For this month, and next, I have vowed against buying any games. No computer or video games. I usually get 1 or 2 each month.
Here’s me. Here’s the world. Now, “me” is now put into “the world” without any coaching besides the idea of “foundation.”
That’s my situation. I was always the housemate who just paid the rent and bill money to the other housemate who did the real rent payment. Not too difficult to figure out how to do that really, but the discipline of sitting down and sorting these out was never instilled in me. Then, I’m all of a sudden paying bills for a house too big for 2 people to live in. Again, not too difficult to do, but the responsibility is way too big for someone who just came out of college and just got an entrance job. Now, I’m saving up money for my wedding that is more than a year away. Again, not a difficult thing to do… if I had all the money I’ve saved up that was spent on things that are other people’s responsibility.
This is where patience for anyone could come thin and perhaps explode. For me, It’s already passed the exploding point. My fuse has lit pass it’s exploding point and continues to lit inside of the explosive (if that is even possible). My mom had a time-share. We both co-owned it. My mom passed away. I continue to pay (since I was in the middle of college). Found out there was insurance on it and insurance will (or should) pay for it all when my mom passed away and reimburse me with the money I’ve paid for. Gave the insurance all the information they needed… over and over again for 6 months. Heard nothing from them. I’ve now been paying time-share for more than 2 years. That money was my savings for a brand new car since I was in college… and changed to my wedding since I got engaged.
Why shouldn’t I stop? Because the guardian who brought my family here to US has said he’s working on it and has a lawyer working to get this settle. The thing is, I deserve to get back the money I’ve spend all these years, and if I cancel the time-share, then I won’t get a fraction of it at all… to my knowledge. How long should one person be patient for in this situation? 1 year? 2 years? 3 years? 7 years?
My mom brought me up with a little pride about money. Never ask for money, never tell people our financial difficulties. I am a firm believer of generosity, but only outwardly. I would think that with all that I have done right, something like this would never happen to me. Being left aside by an insurance company who cares not about their own promises to insure those who justly deserve it. But with all that I have done right, I have also done wrong… and rightly so, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
In conclusion… the what-if of my life.
The money I should have would pay for my wedding, the money I could have saved up would get me a new car, and the money I could be saving would get me into a nice 2-bedroom apartment.
